social media

The Facebook Sonnet – Facebook as a Xmas card list

The Facebook Sonnet

Welome to the endless high-school

Reunion.  Welcome to past friends

And lovers, however kind or cruel.

Let’s undervalue and unmend

The present.  Why can’t we pretend

Every stage of life is the same?

Let’s exhume, resume, and extend

Childhood.  Lets all play the games

That occupy the young.  Let fame

And shame intertwine.  Let one’s search

For God become public domain.

Let church.com become our church.

Let’s sign up sign in, and confess

Here at the alter of loneliness.

Sherman Alexie

Words to ponder on.  I decided to post the poem above onto my facebook profile and to see if anybody amongst my 107 ‘friends’ on there would comment.  Nothing!  This was a bit disappointing because I think that Sherman Alexie has a point.  While Facebook does give you a connection with people you are sorry you don’t have contact with in any other way anymore, and whom you miss.  Facebook also connects you with a bunch of people you don’t ever need to be connected to anymore.  People  you might be delighted to be connected to, but by the same token might feel duty bound to accept a ‘friend invitation’ from if they send you one, not accepting implies that you don’t wish to be friends with them, this by implication makes you mean.  Facebook is fraught!

What do you do about the friends who post constantly, inane trivia that does your head in, more than once a day sometimes.  What about the ones who send constant links to things that really don’t interest you, do you make it so that you can’t see their posts, will they know?  Maybe I am this person to some of my friends.  Do I post too often?  Do I put on too many links?  Am I talking about my inane ridiculous life?  Who knows? 

  • As for the reconnection with school friends and friends from previous times in your life.  This can range from the, frankly disturbing – how could I have been friends with this person, surely they weren’t like this when I knew them?  Who has changed me or them?
  • To the this person is too cool for me, I’m not the funky hip person this person thinks I am.
  • To the I’m only friends with this person because they are a newby on here and dear god if they send me another update on the Farmville or Zuma they are playing incessantly I will reach down the interweb cable and throttle the very life out of their mouse finger with that cable! 
  • To the deeply christian churchy types who tell me how awesome their church services are – why did I click the confirm friendship button I knew this particular relationship wouldn’t work out.  Why the hell did they want to me my friend anyway?
  • To those poor souls who search for meaning, happiness, and a purpose to life – you are just too lost for me.  I am too intolerant to be your friend, well I’ll be your friend but I don’t want to see your posts.  Actually you don’t like me anyway and don’t want to spend time with me, so why are we pretending to be friends on Facebook?

The last point is actually key, it is possible to be friends with all manner of annoying and irritating past friends etc if you can’t see what they are doing.  Block the buggers! I work on the principle that if they have something I need to know (I use the term need loosely here obviously) they will message me.

So, just like a high school reunion, people who knew an early version of you, feel like they still know you, and feel the need to catch up even though you have all moved on, and who don’t have anything in common with you any more, except memories of the previous you, want to rekindle something and befriend you in a Facebook kind of way.  Not in any kind of deeply connected real friend kind of way.

Facebook friendship is not the same as real life friendship.  It is a virtual friendship.  These are not the people you can pop round and have a coffee with at their houses, or go for a drink with on a Friday night.  These are not the people that you get together with at the drop of a hat.  These are a bunch of people, some of your nearest and dearest, and some who you will never see again but with whom you once had a connection.  These are the people that in the old days you would have been sending Christmas cards to and receiving them from.  Really once a year was enough!

So, go on, send me a friendship invite on Facebook.  If you know me well enough to go to coffee with me, if we have connections professionally and are actual friends.  If I would go for coffee with you.  We could be friends!  Or not!

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Now look here!

If you’ve been here before you will notice that I’ve been having a play with the look of the blog.  Trying for something a bit less bland, a bit more colourful, a bit more me!  Settling for this one at the moment, but well, watch this space who knows what it might evolve into next.  I’m liking the rounded edges and the flowery banner at the top.  Love the brown and green thing – so well – till next time I feel like a change this is it.

Dreadful things did happen on the way here though, I had a gorgeous, tasteful winter theme for about 48 hours, and then went to put a post on, and discovered that the transition phase had swallowed my log in box and I couldn’t get in here.  I knocked politely on the door and there was no way that anybody would let me in.  Had to go right back to my original sign up email and start again, thank god I kept it!  So moral of that little tale is, do not delete your original sign up email folks, you never know when you might need it.  All manner of these Web 2.0 things I belong to, many with different log in and passwords – my, it’s a drama.  I even went to the various forum the WordPress have and couldn’t sign in there.

I’ve been trying to sign up to TokBox so that I can have an alternative to Skype with multiple chatty types at once, and I have never been there before.  I sign up for a new account, enter my email and the password of my choosing and I get the message “incorrect password” What The!  I’ve now tried every email address I have and it won’t let me sign in, I always get incorrect password error.  So, fun and games, new technology is not my friend this weekend, and here was I going to try some other things I’ve been saving up but two experiences of being locked out in one weekend and I’m so not going to try again.  Might just slope off and watch some series 1 of Big Bang Theory, or even read a book, no password required there!